If the word “drama” doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to substitute any of the following: because you have to want your dreams more than you want your:
or better yet ---> goodBYE drama!
For me, drama sums it all up nicely. It's taken me a few decades, but I choose to see all of my un-motivating mind chatter, bad habits and self doubt as “drama”. And I do want my dreams more than I want my drama. thankyouverymuch.
Our minds blather on incessantly to the tune of at least 60,000 thoughts a day. Does that mean we have to believe everything that we think? Hell no. Especially if we’re thinking of quitting our goals or drowning them in chardonnay.
ANT is a term from Dr. Daniel Amen and stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. We all have them. They’re part of our default programming, but they need an upgrade.
If you’ve never examined your thoughts, you might have a full on ANT infestation going on in your brain. Some of your ants have been around a really long time. Perhaps you’ve thought crappy things about yourself - FOREVAH. Just because your thoughts are familiar, doesn’t mean they are true.
If you’re new to this, I’ve got some examples below that you can try on and see how they feel. I also highly recommend hiring a coach who specializes in thought work. I’m available to help you with this crucial step in goal meeting, and I've reserved a few spots just for people in this challenge.
Our self talk is often QUITE distorted
Talk Back to Smack Talk
Our thoughts are like the operating system that runs in the background on our computer. If our thoughts are outdated and buggy, they'll slow our progress down.
Here are examples of thoughts that can change your feelings (and, therefore your actions) from debilitating to motivating. Notice how you feel or what actions you would want to take when reading each pair.
Are your thoughts helping you take action steps forward or are they sending you backward?
Try This Thought Work Exercise
Think about one of your BHAGS, goal or resolutions and then try on the two thoughts: I don't think I can do this and I'm up for the challenge. Notice how each one makes you feel.
"I don't think I can do this" creates the feeling of hopelessness and, most likely, the action and result of giving up on the goal. "I'm up for the challenge" creates the feeling of being driven. It creates the action of doing what it takes to achieve the desired result. Notice the difference? It's the same circumstance, but a big difference in action and result all because of an improved thought.
Once you learn the process of identifying, challenging and changing your ANTS, you can coach yourself back into your dreams and out of your own drama.
This isn’t something any of us were taught in school, so be patient with your mind or, better yet, hire me or another thought work expert to expedite your learning curve.
Your Brain Will Still Need a Babysitter!
Even after you learn how to flip your ANTS into something more productive, you still have to babysit your brain. Notice when you are choosing to look at a situation in a disempowering way. Then deliberately replace the thought.
When things seem "hard", an unsupervised brain is going to go straight for the jugular of bad habits i.e. the bottle of wine, the pint of ice cream or the Netflix marathon. So stay present and mindful of what's happening between your ears.
Be mindfully aware of your thoughts. Are they helping or harming your progress?
Plan to Fail
Seems counterintuitive, but planning for failure helps keep you on track. You know that your emotional brain will sell out your dreams in a hot second for a quickie with a donut after a bad day. It only wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain and take the easiest route.
The solution? Use implementation intentions.
Implementation intention is a term that was coined by Dr. Peter Gollwitzer in 1999 and research has found that using implementation intentions triples the chances of a goal's success. TRIPLES!!!
An implementation intention (or having a plan to fail) is basically creating a WHEN/THEN statement for each goal, habit or resolution. When x happens, then I'll do y.
Here are some When/Then examples-->borrow these for each BHAG, habit, resolution or make your own:
Plan ahead for those times when your emotional brain is having a meltdown—-> Write out your implementation intentions for each of your resolutions right now.
I am available to coach you through your big dreams, your little habits, and the shadow thoughts that are holding back your greatness. Email me for details on what I'm only offering to members of the Right Brain Resolution Revolution.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted"
-JM (coaching client)
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