How to Make Friends in Midlife (Without Feeling So Awkward)

adult friendship belonging vs fitting in connection & vulnerability friendship in midlife life feast podcast life feast retreats loneliness in midlife making friends after 40 midlife creativity positive psychology Jul 30, 2025

Making friends in your 40s, 50s, and beyond doesn’t have to be awkward. Here’s how to feel more connected—starting today

How to Make Friends in Midlife (Without It Feeling So Awkward)

Why friendship is the real wellness hack—and how to find your people after 40. Because loneliness at this age and stage is real, but you’re not broken. This podcast episode unpacks the science, awkwardness, and surprising joy of forming new friendships in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Plus, real talk about retreats, belonging, and finding your people.

Can we just say it?

Making friends in midlife is weird.
If you’re in your 40s, 50s, or beyond and wondering, “How do I make new friends at this stage of life?”—you’re not alone.

Thousands of women are wondering:

How do I make friends in midlife?
Why is adult friendship so awkward?
Where do you meet people after 40?
Is it normal to feel lonely in your 50s?

This blog is your honest, research-backed, and slightly irreverent answer to this modern day existential midlife crisis conundrum

In this guide + podcast, you’ll learn:

✅ Why making friends in adulthood feels so hard
✅ The health consequences of disconnection (and why it’s not just in your head)
✅ 5 real-life strategies to make new friends over 40 and 50 and beyond—without feeling desperate
✅ Where to find instant connection through retreats and creative communities
✅ How to create belonging (not just fitting in) by being your real, unpolished self

TL;DR: Midlife friendship takes intention—but it’s not too late. You can still find your people.

You're not alone if this feels hard!

Forget green juice.
Forget hot yoga (ok I love hot yoga - don't forget that one!).
But forget that collagen powder that influencer or your hairdresser told you to buy.

If you really want to live longer, happier, and with more joy?

Make a friend. A real one.
One who gets your sarcastic texts. Who sends the “thinking of you” meme on a random Tuesday. Who doesn’t mind when you show up in your messiest, most unfiltered version of yourself.

Friendship—true, soul-nourishing friendship—isn’t just nice to have. It’s a health imperative.
And yet…
Making friends and sustaining friends in midlife? Not exactly easy.

From Fruit Roll-Ups to “Want to Get Coffee?”

As a kid, friendship was simple:
Sit next to someone on the swings, share a fruit roll-up and a love of stickers, and boom—you were besties by the end of recess.
Friendships were formed and nurtured so easily because the structure was built in to our daily life.
There were school hallways, college dorms, summer camp bunk beds, playgrounds or soccer team carpools that acted as accidental friendship factories.

And also, back in the 70's, 80's and 90's (my formative years) there were no cell phones. Or I guess I did have a cell phone in the 90's but I used it to actually make phone calls TO MY FRIENDS.

But in midlife?

Now we’re all just wandering around Target alone in our leggings wondering if that other cool mom is also secretly dying for someone to talk to.
The logistics of keeping up with friends? A nightmare.
The vulnerability of finding and deepening new friendships? Feels sky-high.
The ghosting? Real. And it's not actually ghosting. Everyone is just so damn busy. See the logistical nightmare above! Or worse, everyone is just distracted by a million dings, pings, social media junk food or a slew of things that can be binged on Netflix. It's just a temporary band aid for the loneliness or disconnection.

The Silent Health Crisis in Midlife No One Prepares You For

According to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness is now considered a public health crisis, with impacts as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Read that again.

The Harvard Adult Development Study (the longest-running study on human happiness) found that the #1 predictor of long, happy lives wasn’t diet or exercise—it was strong, meaningful relationships.

So yeah… friendship isn’t fluff.
It’s the real wellness hack.

Why Midlife Friendship Feels So Hard

Aside from time and schedules and exhaustion (hi, sandwich generation), here’s what makes adult friendship so tricky:

No built-in structure. You’re not automatically surrounded by potential friends at school, work, or sports. People work remotely. Schedules are jam packed!
Digital disconnection. Social media tricks our brain into thinking we’re connected, while leaving us even lonelier.
Fear of rejection. Asking someone to lunch whom you think already has all of her best friends can feel as vulnerable as asking your crush for a middle school slow dance.
We’ve been burned. Many of us thought we made “forever friends” in a mastermind, a yoga class, or a mom group—only to see it fizzle when the calendar or context changed.

And yet… we need it anyway.

Belonging vs. Fitting In

This is where we get it twisted.

Brené Brown says:

“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

Fitting in means you shrink, polish, or contort yourself to be accepted.
Belonging means you show up with your quirks, your mess, your loud laugh—and still get invited back.

That’s the kind of connection we’re craving in midlife.

And it doesn’t happen by accident.
It takes intention.

What You Can Do This Week to Make a Real Friend

Here’s the good news: making friends in adulthood is possible. It’s awkward. It’s brave. But it works.

Try one of these:

Be the inviter. Yes, you might feel like a golden retriever wagging your tail in a sea of aloof cats. Do it anyway.
Join something weird. The more specific, the better. Pottery class? Wildflower identification group? Feasting with other mindful photo nerds in The Life Feast (like ME!)? That’s where the magic lives.
Show up messy. Skip the small talk. Ask real questions. Share something real. People are starved for that.
Nurture the “weak ties.” That woman you always see at yoga? That Instagram DM buddy? Turn it into a coffee.
Invest in the long game. Friendships take time. Repeated exposure. Shared experience. Let it unfold slowly and show up consistently.
Re-ignite the OLD friendships. Yup, the memorial ones, even if they're long distance (or especially!). Yes, it'll take two hours to get fully caught up, but as the nest empties out and the calendar clears a bit, this might be your next best travel buddy! Plus, you'll get loads of oxytocin even just hearing your old bestie's voice and you'll get some good practice in and a reminder of why you want the local friends, too. Take an online class with your bestie (the Life Feast is a GREAT option!) and bond over that. Or bring your bestie on a retreat (we have several about to be announced for 2026!).

You’re Not Too Late. You’re Right on Time.

If you’re feeling isolated or weird for craving deeper connection—welcome to being human. Especially of the midlife varietal.

But connection doesn’t have to stay an aspirational pipe dream.
You can create it.
And you deserve to have it.
And it's sooooo good for your wellbeing!
So text a friend and share this blog post or podcast episode right now.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of the Life Feast podcast:
How to Make Friends in Midlife (Without Feeling So Awkward)

We talk:

Awkward invites and coffee courage
The “tend and befriend” stress response
Why retreats are friendship accelerators
And why your next great connection might just be one bold DM away

P.S. You don’t need to be cool, polished, or perfect to find your people.
You just have to be willing. 💛
Don't forget to check out Art of Life Creativity Retreats and The Life Feast online and in the wild creative iPhone photography course.