Are you hiding your goals?
A lot of times, especially when we set some goals for big dreams, we keep them under lock and key. Maybe we have a big dream to be a New York Times bestselling author and our best friend doesn’t even know that we can write.
I mean, why be vulnerable and proclaim your big dreams out loud (and possibly publicly fail at them), when you can just tout your success after you’ve gotten the call from Oprah or Random House?
Accountability is the reason.
But there’s a catch here. Telling too many people can actually hinder your goal achievement.
Psychologists call it social reality. And research has shown that if you’re telling everyone you meet about your big dreams, and receive lots of praise and well wishes (aka dopamine hits of instant gratification), your brain can be tricked into thinking it actually already achieved the goal.
As Derek Sivers says, "Don’t let your mind mistake the ...
Danielle hit the nail on the head, but, oftentimes, our follow through on goals is lacking. In a study by Adams-Miller and Frisch in 2009, researchers discovered that as much as 80% of our day's activity is directed by our "unthinking reaction to cues." In other words, we go through most of our day on autopilot, conveniently "forgetting" those big hairy audacious goals we have set for ourselves.
Enter the primer ...
What is a primer? Primers are conscious or unconscious cues paired together that promote behavioral change. Translation por favor?
Basically, a PRIMER is a REMINDER on steroids.
Let's take an easy example such as starting an exercise habit first thing in the morning. Maybe you've even set a BHAG of running a marathon or a daily run or spin class IS your BHAG (sheepishly raises hand).
Whichever the case, if you have no daily habit in place (and you haven't broken a sweat in a long time), you need a primer. A primer for exercise might be to put your running...
Are you already taking action steps on your goals? Wonderful! Are you still as motivated 12 days later as you were on day 1? Hopefully the answer is yes, but it's completely understandable if the answer is hell no. Maybe you're now so overwhelmed by what you want to get done that 2020 is sounding like a better year to dive into all of this. Have you started telling yourself you'll just tuck these emails away and do it next year?
Let's remember, again, the duality of our brains. We've got our emotional brain (we previously referred to as our elephant) and our prefrontal cortex (our smart and savvy rider) and they both need to work together to get each goal off of the ground and all the way to the finish line.
Big surprise, your emotional brain wants immediate gratification and constant feedback to stay motivated. It doesn't want to wait 12 months to see results. It would rather have a glass...
I hope you had a wonderful first weekend of the New Year. Before we move onto how to make all of your right brain resolutions happen - we’re going to up the ante a bit during the setting process.
Now your resolution list can definitely have some easy wins on it. If you are resolving to drink 64 ounces of water every day in 2020 - that’s fabulous. If you’re going to meditate for 15 minutes every day - wonderful (learning to meditate is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, by the way). These are small habits that can have a big impact on your wellbeing.
But let's also put some hair on your goals…
I’d also like you to consider having some BHAGs on your list. What’s a BHAG? It’s a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL. Martha Beck calls them your WIGS (Wildly Improbable Goals), Brooke Castillo calls them your impossible goals and Jim Collins calls them your BHAGS. I’ve recently come to...
Hello and happy January 3!
Do you still feel as revved up and motivated as you did two days ago? If yes, awesome, if no, you are not alone. The pitfalls of setting NYE party resolutions are many.
We borrow a resolution from someone else that sounds pretty good - oh hey I'd kind of maybe also like to lose weight, declutter, get my finances in order, too, yet we lack the true intrinsic motivation to get 'er done.
The pat answers about our resolutions were easy to give at the cocktail party, but that doesn’t mean that they are especially meaningful to us.
Change isn't a walk in the park. It takes commitment, perseverance and consistency. You need new neural pathways in your brain to replace rutted out old ways of doing things.
Our brains like to be as efficient as possible, which makes the old way easier. The new way takes time and effort before it becomes ingrained as a new way of life. So motivation for the long-term is key.
The topic of the upcoming New Year can be quite loaded. Some of us are so ready to shut the door on 2019 and others are all amped up with lists longer than Santa's on all the ways we need to improve ourselves in the next 12 months.
How we're going to choose to fill the next 52 weeks can be either exhilarating or daunting.
Whether this is the bitch of a blank canvas for you or a fresh start and a clean slate, it's an opportunity to set some intentions for the next decade.
Do Resolutions Even Work?
When set properly, goals and resolutions set at the beginning of the year can work wonders. When arbitrarily proclaimed at midnight on Dec 31 with no plan to back them up, well, yeah, those resolutions barely make it past the late-night Uber ride home.
My favorite perspective on the year ahead is to think about the new year as 365 opportunities!
I realize that 2019 might have given you 365 ways to want to bang your head against the wall or 365 ways to...
What do I mean by Marie Kondo your Christmas?
Don't worry! I do not mean folding your underwear in a weird way or having to organize ANYTHING in your home right now.
Marie Kondo is that incredible professional organizer who wrote the book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Did you read it?
Makes a great holiday gift ;-)! Just kidding. I mean it does, but that's not what this is about.
This is less about holiday presents and more about holiday presence...
which probably just made you feel guilty. Because in going overboard and trying to create a magical holiday for our loved ones, we are usually more stressed and less present than we are at other times in the year. And that feels kind of crummy.
Christmas is touted as the most wonderful time of the year ... except that comes with a hefty emotional and financial price tag for those of us who are orchestrating the magic for everyone else.
I saw the funniest quote the other day that basically said that December...
Well, we’ve officially transitioned out of the season of stuffing to the season of stuff. Thanksgiving is over, but it’s always a good time of year to give that thanks away.
Today is Black Friday and before you give your credit card a workout, take a minute to pass some gratitude gravy.
Black Friday can be rough on those who work in retail. Yes, investment bankers, CEOs, and stockholders love Black Friday, but those who are manning (and woman’ning) the stores often bear the brunt of shoppers’ seasonal anxieties, which isn’t always easy.
#GratitudeGRAVY day 14
For years I pretty much missed the point of Thanksgiving. Sad, but true. I'm the person who has literally lit my oven on fire while trying to broil bagels.
Despite the Thanksgiving hits and misses we've had chez Larock, I've come to realize that Thanksgiving is supposed to be a celebration of the great FULLness* of life with some of the wonderful humans that are in my world. Flawed and funny, weird and wonderful, I give thanks for all of them.
GratiTIRED? I get it. This is why gratitude fatigue is real…. And, while the healthcare industry is starting to realize that gratitude is some of the best medicine, the correct dosage for each of us does vary.
But stay with me. We are in the home stretch of #gratitudegravy and this next practice is one of the best gratitude practices for boosting happiness.
Think of someone who is still alive who has changed your life for the better. Pick someone who has never been properly thanked. It could be a teacher, a parent, grandparent, an old friend, an old boss, anyone who had an extraordinary impact on your life.
Ok do you have someone in mind?
Call the person or arrange a visit and...
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